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Calzone Rapper Ruthlessly Disses Pizza Industry in New Album & Video, R.I.Pizza

D.P. Dough, the nation’s largest calzone chain is jumping into the music business with the release of R.I.Pizza from rapping calzone, Stoney Calzoney.

The album is currently live on all platforms, with the music video for R.I.Pizza set to debut on Friday, September 13. (Music and videos are streaming at

Late one night at 3:45 AM, Calzoney mysteriously came to life when the customer who ordered him fell asleep, leaving Stoney abandoned at the door.

“The worst part of it all for Stoney is that he lost his order ticket. That little calzone has no idea what he’s made of,” said Eric Cook, CEO of D.P. Dough.

Jolted into existence and extremely disappointed in the state of food rap, Stoney immediately began pursuing a career in hip-hop (historically a difficult genre for food). His lyrics are inspired by his extreme dislike of pizza and his hellbent determination to raise worldwide calzone awareness.

In addition to receiving props from hip-hop legend Snoop Dogg (“Check out Stoney Calzoney. He go pretty hard.”), he’s already the most prolific food rapper of all time.

When asked about comparisons with rapping Hamburger Helper mascot, Stoney quipped, “Man, he ain’t even food! He’s just a glove … with four fingers!”

The album, “R.I.Pizza,” is live across all platforms, and includes the tracks R.I.Pizza, Life of a Calzone, She Gonna Want a Calzone, I’m a Real Calzone, and On Hold. The music video for R.I.Pizza debuts on September 13.



Apple Music:

Twitter: @stoneycalzoney



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About Joseph Timmons (9825 Articles)
I am the Father of 5 and a "Would Be Philosopher of Idiocy" - Author and Writer for several Blogs and Online Magazine. Review Journalist, Musician and Audio Buff. Follow Me and I'm Sure to Entertain.

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